im fine.

i'm fine. trust me.

i don't know

what to do anymore.

to all i've wronged:
i'm sorry

to all i've met:
thank you.

and to all a good night.

this is what i get.

i have neglected old friends for so long that i'm no longer sure if we're still friends.

nonsense, of course you still are.

are you sure?

no.



i have neglected all of you for so long.
i'm sorry.

ping! pang! kapow! batman sounds!

the first academic day of december began with a bang! an a splat! and an ugh! and a woosh! and some huff, huff. (cue: will forte singing "personal information waltz")

amazingly, i'm still alive. wow.
thank God.

i can't think of a song with november in the title which would've been a good title for a post about november.

all i remember is sweet november (although i've never seen it)

due to the fact that i can't think properly right now albeit the fact that i want to put something in my blog i'll just give a quick gist:

• didn't go to Malabon for All Saint's for the first time
• went to Palawan for the first time
• snorkel in a "snorkel-able" place with real "snorkel-able" things like actual fish and actual corals and actual sea snakes lying in the bottom, not just in the pool
  
• experienced UP-Diliman's first ever computerized enrollment
• learned that we were going to "produce" the Asean congress
• missed another opportunity to see neil gaiman and see that he's actually a human being (or more like a demigod)
• waited patiently for DC Countdown to finish
• waited patiently for pictures from the Dark Knight movie
• go Globe (finally)
  
• became very very honest
• car.
• palm.
• park.
• decided to surrender my love life to God.
• there.

there's a whole lot more. gimme a minute to remember. i'll post some of the other things later.
twas a very very eventful november.
and twas fun.
bow.

songs remind me of people

like.

1. magic dance by david bowie
2. bizarre love triange by frente

1. the song that jane likes by the dave matthews band
2. lover lay down by the dave matthews band

1. nothing's gonna stop us now by starship
2. little bitty pretty one by bobby darin

1. secret heart by feist
2. question by old 97's

• a favor house atlantic by coheed and cambria
• everyday by the dave matthews band
• slide away by oasis
• the dance by barbie's cradle
• burn out by sugarfree
  
• and a whole lot more that will take a week to place here
  

bahala Ka na lang.

i shall entrust my heart to the One who wrote the greatest and best love story ever.

october the 23rd 2007

it has been six days since the start of sembreak.
feels like a month.

for all the sleepless nights, and all the money spent the past sem has caused, it taught me something.
mayaman ako sa kaibigan.

new friends.
old friends.
yeah.

thank you.
giant ant. thank you.
that trio that refuses to be named so that it retains its mysteriousness, thank you.

thank you for question, for what a difference a day makes.
thank you.
bow.




-------------
caleb's off to laguna today. be back on november the 4th.
i'll miss you all.
gah.
ahahaha.
sorry, never was to fond of going away.

how was yesterday?

dahil mahal na mahal ko ang The Office

at dahil mahusay sina Jim and Pam

here's to them:





The Office (the US version) is property of NBC (methinks)
rights belong to them.

please don't sue me. i'm broke enough as it is.

THE OFFICE

Which Office character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Jim Halpert You're Jim! That's so cool, Jim's awesome. Jim Halpert 80% Angela Martin 65% Jan Levinson 55% Pam Beesly 50% Dwight Schrute 35% Michael Scott 25% Ryan Howard 20%

this is according to some test.

but i actually prefer to be this guy:


talk about conflicting personalities

inhale. exhale.

pfff.....

ok.

so what now genius?

Psalm 116:15

Psalm 116:15

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."

the government hospital/status of government agencies or officials/ i'm really really tired rant

sorry to anyone that will be offended.
this blog stems from a very very very very stressful day.
also, sorry for the graphic nature of
again sorry.
thank you.
--------------------


i have been to a government hospital before. as a kid. and no, they were not like this.
i have been to a government hospital before. and they were not like this.
not the slightest.

7AM.

we walk to the emergency room. it's raining (excellent timing).
Guard: "San ho kayo?"
Me: "Emergency ho, san ho ba?"
*Guard points the way*

inside the emergency room. we approach the first desk we see.
ME: "Excuse me po, kasi yung tita ko nag-su-suka po siya ng dugo e, pano po ba--"
NURSE: "Ay dun po sa table na yun"
*Nurse points in general direction*

inside the emergency room. we walk towards the other desk in the general direction.
ME: "Excuse me po, yung tita ko po kasi nag-su-suka ng dugo--"
NURSE: "Dun yan."
*Nurse raises finger to pretend to be helpful"

still inside the ER. we walk toward still another desk.
NURSE: "Sino pasyente?"
ME: Tita ko po, kasi nag-su-suka po siya ng dugo--
NURSE: Bat ganyan ang mata mo kuya? Ang chinky.
METHINKS: Ano ba pakielam mo sa mata ko? nagpapacheck ba ako ng mata? hindi! sinugod ko ang tita ko sa ER para magamot hindi para mag-comment ka sa mata ko!
ME SAYS: Yung tita ko po kasi nagsusuka ng dugo kaninang umaga.
*Nurse points somewhere and mumbles something*
ME: Ano po yun?
NURSE: Sabi ko, pahigain mo dun.
we comply.

the nurse then turns around and begins to chat with her friends, scribbles something.
then i hear her say:
NURSE: Psst, Chinky.
i pray to God for patience, lots and lots of patience.
METHINKS: Miss, may pangalan po ako. Hindi yun Chinky, or kahit tinawag mo na lang akong boy na naka-black, or boy, or kahit psst na lang. Kasi hindi professional ate. Nurse ka pa naman. Public servant ka pa naman.

i walk up to the desk.
ME: Bakit po?
NURSE: Ano ba sakit ng mama mo?
METHINKS: Miss nananadya ka ba talaga? Talaga bang hindi ka nakikinig? Walang pang ilang minuto noong sinabi kong Tita ko siya at Nagsusuka siya ng dugo.
ME SAYS: Hindi ko po siya nanay.
NURSE: E ano mo siya.
ME: Tita ko po. Nagsusuka po kasi siya ng dugo.

She then proceeds to ask me medical stuff. Finally i think. She's becoming professional.
NURSE: May sakit po ba siya sa baga.
ME: Wala po.

A few moments later.
NURSE: Bili po kayo nito.

I go and buy what she told me to buy. A few moments later my other aunt arrives.
OTHER AUNT: Ano yan?
ME: Pinabili po nung nurse.
Other aunt looks at the meds.
OTHER AUNT: (Some medical name) ito. Pang ubo ito ah. *Turns to the Nurse* Miss para san to?
NURSE: Para po sa ubo.
OTHER AUNT: E wala naman siyang ubo ah.

They talk. I don't listen. I don't want to listen. I didn't want to waste my time on the irritating nurse.

Beside my aunt's bed lay a man who i gathered suffered from severe head aches.
NURSE (yes it's the same nurse): Kuya kamusta na kayo?
MAN: Nahihilo pa rin
NURSE: *Makes a face* Arte na lang yan.

...

I am currently to tired to recount everything that has happened today.
I WILL blog again and rant about the unprofessional and deteriorated quality of our government hospitals.
I WILL, because i want it to change.


This i just noticed.
I was in the hospital last week watching my mom.
Her NGO had a medical plan, which meant she could be admitted in a private hospital.
in the private hospital they had her do a lot of tests, but we only had to pay after everything.

today i was at a government hospital. we payed for everything. and when i say this i mean whenever the nurse/doctor would need a test we would pay for it immediately. when they needed a syringe, we need to pay for it. when they needed gloves/vials/tubes/you name it, we needed to pay.

sabi nga ng isa ko pang tita: ganyan sa ospital ng gobyerno. ganyan sila kasi alam nilang mahirap lang yung mga pasyente nila. wala kang pera? mamamatay ka.

quotes from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

i like this movie. very much
ergo the quotes.
---------
Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.
-------------
Joel: Can you hear me? I don't want this any more! I want to call it off!
-------------
Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own piece of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.
-----------
Joel: I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.
---------
Joel: Wait.
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. Just wait... for a while.
-------------
Mary: Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias.
-----------
Joel: [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?
----------------------



look for the trailer of "be kind rewind" it's made by the same guy who did this.
it's fun.

bow.

can't wait

can't wait for: the conclusion to DC's Countdown and the Final Crisis
can't wait for: my own copy of Adobe Premiere pro 3
can't wait for: the dark knight to be released
can't wait for: the upcoming justice league movie
can't wait for: the upcoming avengers movie
can't wait for: the bob dylan movie
can't wait for: the end of all my exams
can't wait for: bumblebee, my own car.
can't wait for: my own professional HD camera.
can't wait for: my own DSLR
can't wait for: the day i finish writing my book
can't wait for: the day i publish my book
can't wait for: the day i meet my favorite people


can't wait for: the time i see you again.
(wow, what a cheesy ending.
crap.)

bow.

raindrops keep falling

so i had me a conversation with the sun
and i didn't like the way that he got things done
sleeping on the job...

wrong timing yung ulan.
maling timing yung pag-suspend.
wala naman akong nakabinbin na exam bukas.
bakit bukas?
pwede bang i-move na lang sa friday?
...
...
alam kong dapat nagpapasalamat ako dahil makakapagpahinga ako bukas.
pero...
atrasadong atrasado na kami sa BC103.
isang buwan na kaming di nagmeet.
tapos dahil wala ulit klase bukas, magpapa-makeup class na lang sa sabado.
na kasabay ng klase ko sa Comm120.
tapos wala na daw galawan yun.
fixed na daw.
at sa meeting na ito i-di-discuss yung tungkol sa midterms namin
so pano ko malalaman yung kelangang gawin?
...
...
sobrang gulo na ng schedule ko (wow, may pa-schedule-schedule na pala ako ngayon)
na-mo-move ng na-mo-move yung mga kelangan kong gawin.
at dahil dun
nagkakasabay-sabay lahat ng requirements ko.
dapat kung walang mga suspension ay maximum of 1 requirement a week.
ngayon...
andami ko nang kelangan gawin.
...
...
salamat egay.
anlaki mong tulong.

er

i am in need of someone to talk to
but then again, i wouldn't know what to say (or how to say it)
when i do have someone to talk to.

wala

wala akong utang na loob

drown it away

drown it.
drown it in jazz music, rock music, sad, happy, melancholic, triumphant, any type of music.
in pictures, in videos,
in green, red and blue phosphor dots light up a million times in a second.

drown it
with thoughts of remorse,
with foreign languages that you do not understand
with the beating of the drums
with the sound of your fingers as they fly over the keyboard
the sound of strumming guitars
the sound of the airswing on the airconditioner
the sound of a thousand people laughing at you
drown it
drown it with the sound of your heavy breathing
your scared breathing
your panicked breathing
drown it
drown it with the sound of your heart beating
the sound of your sweat, no, you do not sweat
it is cold enough, no you do not sweat, and yet...

drown it
drown it with happy memories,
sad memories,
as the violin plays in the background.
as the clock ticks down.
drown it
drown it your endless ramblings
drown it with a thousand thoughts
with your artsy fartsy words
with the image of rain
of a puddle
of a leaf
of anything
of anything else
of anything besides it

drown it
drown it in, no, better yet...

purge it out.

episode 17 - the lost episode

it has been a couple of months since i last blogged.
and the blogs that i made before were utterly...pointless.
and i can't write right now.
so there.