while i am in a joker state

you've changed things, forever.

see to them you're just a freak, like me.

let's put a smile on that face.

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

now i know why i'm so enamored by clowns and masked beings.
everything is alright.

episode nth - grace is gone

somehow the dave matthews band always has a song to sum everything up.
even if the lyrics are off in some way, the melody of the song has everything summed up.

so, a big round of applause for the dave matthews band.

(the curtain raises, some guy thinks it's good to have smoke machines fill up the stage,
neon purple and green lights blink in the sidelines,
dave matthews plucks a few strings of his guitar,
the audience is silent, save for the occasional enthusiastic fan blurting out nonsensical screams)



Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight,
Its 2 am, Im drunk again,
Its heavy on my mind, its heavy on my mind.

I could never love again,
So much as I love you.
Where you end, where I begin,
Is like a river going through.

Take my heart, take my eyes,
Cause Ill need them no more.
If never again theyll fall upon,
The one I so adore.

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill move on.

One drink to remember,
And another to forget.
How could I ever dream to find a love like this again?
One drink to remember, another to forget...

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Would you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill move on.
One more drink and Ill move on.

You think of things impossible,
Then the sun refuse to shine.
I woke with you beside me,
Your cold hand lay in mine.

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill go...

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart, my grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill move on,
One more drink and Ill move on.
One more drink my grace is gone.



(the curtain goes down, the people applaud and scream in approval, i stand still.
everyone leaves the auditorium, paper, plastic cups, posters, streamers are left strewn on the floor, as i stand still.
a man sweeps behind me but he fails to notice the lone person standing amidst the trash.
the sweeper finishes,
the crew packs the equipment,
the band walks towards the exit,
the chairs are removed.
everything is packed up, everything is back to the way they were,
the lights are closed.
i'm still standing where i stood the entire time,
the melody of the song still in my head,
"one more drink, can you make it strong cause i don't need to think"
i'm still standing.
still waiting)












-----

ang corny. pwe.

pwe.

wala na akong maintindihan.
+
ayoko na ng sem na 'to
+
anlabo na ng lahat ng nangyayari
+
nasa gitna ako ng isang malaki at malabong laro
+
inaantok na ako
+
alam kong pinagtatawanan na ako (tsk. tsk)
+
isa na naman?
+
ampangit talaga ng abilidad kong yun.
+
yan ang napapala ng makulit na bata
+
di ba kasi sinabihan ka na na ganyan ang mangyayari?
+
yan tuloy tignan mo ngayon
+
wala nang makakaintindi nito
+
oo
+
alam ko
+
kaya nga ganito di ba?
+
pff
+
sige pa,
+
dyan ka naman magaling di ba?
+
mangwala

=

super emo, malabong waterdiet. tsk tsk.

diba? dyan ka magaling? mang alienate ng tao?

Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylan

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

something

Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

changed

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
just tell
Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship,
My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip,
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'.
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way,
I promise to go under it.

me

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

and

Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun,
It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run
And but for the sky there are no fences facin'.
And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme
To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind,
I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you're
Seein' that he's chasing.

I’ll

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, leave
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Alone.

----

lyrics and music by Bob Dylan.

ooookay....

what the bloody hell is wrong with me?

something obviously is.
shit.

ratio

50 : 50.



dangit.