Wednesday, August 05, 2009

a thank you, a farewell, and a request


as the papers say, cory magic is alive again.

my parents whisper "it's 1986 all over again" as we see people in yellow shirts lining up in the streets, as yellow confetti rain from the sky, as yellow ribbons hug tree trunks and car side mirrors, and the arms of people, as people pull over lifting their hands in an L, as people line up despite of the rain, the wind and the heat of the sun, as tears roll down the cheeks of the rich and of the poor, of the old, and the young.

in her final moments of life, and even in her death, President Corazon Aquino did more to unite the fractured and divided Philippine people than anyone else in recent Philippine history.

in her death, she was able to do what she did best, she was able to bring the Filipino people together. walang mayaman, walang mahirap, walang sundalo, walang aktibista, walang maka-kaliwa, walang maka-kanan, walang pula, walang dilaw, lahat ng pagaalitan ay isinantabi muna. kahit sa huling sandali ng kanyang buhay, napagsama niya at napagkaisa ang mga Pilipino.

even through her sickness, and even in her death, she continued to live up to the ideals of nationalism, of peace, of unity. as a lot of people have already said, she personifies the Filipino people's desire for moral change, for nationalism, for growth. She personifies the best in the Filipino people.

hindi rin naman perpektong tao si President Cory, may mga pagkukulang rin siya, pero hinahangaan ko na ginawa niya ang lahat, na ibinigay niya ang lahat ng makakaya niya, sa kabila ng hirap at ng sakit, dahil sa kanyang pagmamahal sa Diyos, sa mga kababayan, at sa bansa.

they say that it's 1986 all over again, that cory magic is back, that the spirit of EDSA is alive again, and this is evident now everywhere we look.

i pray that this serves as a wake-up call and a rebuke for us to change, for us to get our acts together, to set aside all our bickering and our issues against people, to get rid of the apathy that has seeped into the hearts of people as of late.
may this serve as a wake-up call for the youth to step up to the plate, to do our part, to stop letting others handle the problems of our country and to be the hope that everyone wishes us to be.
may this serve as a rebuke against all the politics and mud-slinging, against all the self-serving, all the financial and moral corruption that our present state of government has become.

nakakalungkot isipin na kinailangan pang mawala ng isang bagong bayani na kagaya ni President Cory para magising tayo sa ganito. pero mas nakakalungkot kung makalipas ng ilang araw, ilang linggo, ay mawawala rin ang lahat ng ito.

sana, sana ang nakikita nating ngayong pagkakaisa at nasyonalismo na nabuhay muli dahil sa pagkawala ni President Cory ay maipagpatuloy natin. sana hindi ito ngayon lang, pero sana maipamuhay natin ang mga adhikain na isinabuhay at ipinaglaban ni Cory.




from a grateful youth who now enjoys the democracy and freedom that you lived for, suffered for, fought for and died for, maraming maraming salamat po President Cory.

Friday, July 31, 2009

an itching on the roof of my mouth

i have this feeling like an itch on the roof of my mouth. that feeling that you know wont go away but you feel like you have to do something to make it go away.


i feel like i have something utterly important to do, that i've forgotten something that i need to do. i have this itching desire to write, to sketch, to shoot, to edit, to read, to do something productive. somehow i feel like i've been a bum for too long (despite being utterly exhausted from doing stuff).


this is probably my worldy self kicking in, in the sense that i have to constantly keep myself busy which'll lead to me being burnt out again.


must'nt do it.




till then.

and now the waiting game begins.

sent my request emails for my thesis waiting for replies. i'm still looking for the contact details of other docu-people. now i'm here waiting for their replies. hopefully they won't be the scary, nosebleedy people i envision them to be.


on the other hand, i'm still waiting for my pending paycheck. computer upgrades here i come. i can't wait to be able to back up EVERYTHING i have into a 1 terabyte external hard drive and to be able to doodle on a tablet.


still waiting for the succeeding issues of blackest night, batman and robin, green lantern, irredeemable and flash: rebirth. most of these comic books (i'm looking at you irredeemable and flash: rebirth) are taking too long to be published. it's like they've completely forgotten that the story lines are still dangling. i shall remain patient and wait on these story lines to finish.


waiting for superman/batman: public enemies. green lantern: first flight was such a blast! it was such an amazing ride therefore i only have high hopes for this new DC feature. (looks like DC is mopping the floor with Marvel's ass when it comes to cartoon features; can't say the same for the film scene).


still still waiting for pixar's up. when will they screen this?! waiting for updates on the status of the ever elusive of batman number 3 (is gary oldman's statement true?)






there. i've fanboyed for far too long.
hahaha.
see you on the other side.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

ernie and bernie

respect.


as difficult as it is to see what's happening and to see you like this, as painful as it is, there is always the call to be obedient. God asks us, me, to be obedient. He demands it, but He doesn't rub it in our faces. He gave us free-will and I'd like to think - and i'm sure - that He respects it.


as hard as it is, i have to stand by the call. to obey.
i hate seeing you, me, us, like this.
but i hold on to the hope that He who began a good work will see it through.


i have hope and i believe that God didn't make me, us do this as a joke, for some sort of sick amusement, but for us to grow and to become the people that He's always wanted us to be, people after His own heart and people who will please Him in everything.


i'm really sorry. you know how much i hate seeing you in such a foul mood. and all the more i hate it when i'm the one that causes it. seriously i'm sorry.


i'm not giving up. if i let my emotions get the best of me and do what i want instead of what He wants me to do, that would be giving up. for both our sakes, and to please Him, i won't give up. i'll continue to draw strength from Him.


i'm sorry if i'm not turning out to be the best friend that i promised i would be. i'm sorry if i've said a handful of promises that, apparently, i can't fulfill now that, well, that that's happened. i'm sorry, really i am. i'm sorry if it seems like i'm not trying, know that i am. it hurts me whenever you say, or don't, that i don't try because nothing can be farther from the truth.


i try. you know that i do. i just respect your decisions that i don't want to question them. i respect you that i don't want to push myself at times that you don't want me to be there. i respect you that if you say you don't want to be my friend, i won't fight for it.


but i want you to know that despite you pushing me away, i won't do that to you. don't take this the wrong way. this isn't me puttting up a litany or sounding self-righteous. i just want to assure you that even if you don't want me to be, i'll still be here. think of it as the jla's reserve - people in the background, not really wanted at times but there whenever they're called for.


i'm always praying for you and i'm always here. not really sure if you'll be able to read this soon, eventually i know you'll stumble across this. not sure if that'll be on time, but then again, all in His time.




you know how to reach me if ever you decide you want to again.


til then.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

episode nth

hi blog.
arrogant, dipshit,, mellowdramatic turd.
how have you been?
asshole.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

things i have decided to do this february

(aka my very late new year's resolution)
  • not cut my hair so long as my grandmother is undergoing chemo
  • donate blood (since it's been 3 years)
  • stop being an assh*le
  • spend more time with neglected friends
  • finish my hanging stories
  • finish my hanging books
  • practice editing more
  • draw more
  • spend more time with my brother (who will be there at my wedding unlike the computer who won't even help me with making masks)
  • finish the script
  • start shooting with the ants
  • finish shooting with the ants
  • spend more time taking pictures
  • email family more often
  • rest more often
  • still spend more time with neglected friends
  • breathe
  • live
i hope to accomplish at least a quarter of that.
gulp.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

while i am in a joker state

you've changed things, forever.

see to them you're just a freak, like me.

let's put a smile on that face.

ahahahahahahahahahahaha














now i know why i'm so enamored by clowns and masked beings.
everything is alright.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

episode nth - grace is gone

somehow the dave matthews band always has a song to sum everything up.
even if the lyrics are off in some way, the melody of the song has everything summed up.

so, a big round of applause for the dave matthews band.

(the curtain raises, some guy thinks it's good to have smoke machines fill up the stage,
neon purple and green lights blink in the sidelines,
dave matthews plucks a few strings of his guitar,
the audience is silent, save for the occasional enthusiastic fan blurting out nonsensical screams)



Neon shines through smoky eyes tonight,
Its 2 am, Im drunk again,
Its heavy on my mind, its heavy on my mind.

I could never love again,
So much as I love you.
Where you end, where I begin,
Is like a river going through.

Take my heart, take my eyes,
Cause Ill need them no more.
If never again theyll fall upon,
The one I so adore.

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill move on.

One drink to remember,
And another to forget.
How could I ever dream to find a love like this again?
One drink to remember, another to forget...

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Would you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill move on.
One more drink and Ill move on.

You think of things impossible,
Then the sun refuse to shine.
I woke with you beside me,
Your cold hand lay in mine.

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart,
My grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill go...

Excuse me please, one more drink.
Could you make it strong,
Cause I dont need to think.
She broke my heart, my grace is gone.
Another drink and Ill move on,
One more drink and Ill move on.
One more drink my grace is gone.



(the curtain goes down, the people applaud and scream in approval, i stand still.
everyone leaves the auditorium, paper, plastic cups, posters, streamers are left strewn on the floor, as i stand still.
a man sweeps behind me but he fails to notice the lone person standing amidst the trash.
the sweeper finishes,
the crew packs the equipment,
the band walks towards the exit,
the chairs are removed.
everything is packed up, everything is back to the way they were,
the lights are closed.
i'm still standing where i stood the entire time,
the melody of the song still in my head,
"one more drink, can you make it strong cause i don't need to think"
i'm still standing.
still waiting)












-----

ang corny. pwe.

Friday, January 18, 2008

pwe.

wala na akong maintindihan.
+
ayoko na ng sem na 'to
+
anlabo na ng lahat ng nangyayari
+
nasa gitna ako ng isang malaki at malabong laro
+
inaantok na ako
+
alam kong pinagtatawanan na ako (tsk. tsk)
+
isa na naman?
+
ampangit talaga ng abilidad kong yun.
+
yan ang napapala ng makulit na bata
+
di ba kasi sinabihan ka na na ganyan ang mangyayari?
+
yan tuloy tignan mo ngayon
+
wala nang makakaintindi nito
+
oo
+
alam ko
+
kaya nga ganito di ba?
+
pff
+
sige pa,
+
dyan ka naman magaling di ba?
+
mangwala

=

super emo, malabong waterdiet. tsk tsk.

diba? dyan ka magaling? mang alienate ng tao?

Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylan

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

something

Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

changed

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
just tell
Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship,
My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip,
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'.
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way,
I promise to go under it.

me

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

and

Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun,
It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run
And but for the sky there are no fences facin'.
And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme
To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind,
I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you're
Seein' that he's chasing.

I’ll


Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me, leave
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Alone.



----

lyrics and music by Bob Dylan.

ooookay....

what the bloody hell is wrong with me?

something obviously is.
shit.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

ratio

50 : 50.



dangit.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

im fine.

i'm fine. trust me.

Friday, December 21, 2007

i don't know

what to do anymore.

to all i've wronged:
i'm sorry

to all i've met:
thank you.

and to all a good night.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

this is what i get.

i have neglected old friends for so long that i'm no longer sure if we're still friends.
nonsense, of course you still are.
are you sure?
no.



i have neglected all of you for so long.
i'm sorry.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

ping! pang! kapow! batman sounds!

the first academic day of december began with a bang! an a splat! and an ugh! and a woosh! and some huff, huff. (cue: will forte singing "personal information waltz")

amazingly, i'm still alive. wow.
thank God.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

i can't think of a song with november in the title which would've been a good title for a post about november.

all i remember is sweet november (although i've never seen it)

due to the fact that i can't think properly right now albeit the fact that i want to put something in my blog i'll just give a quick gist:

  • didn't go to Malabon for All Saint's for the first time
  • went to Palawan for the first time
  • snorkel in a "snorkel-able" place with real "snorkel-able" things like actual fish and actual corals and actual sea snakes lying in the bottom, not just in the pool
  • experienced UP-Diliman's first ever computerized enrollment
  • learned that we were going to "produce" the Asean congress
  • missed another opportunity to see neil gaiman and see that he's actually a human being (or more like a demigod)
  • waited patiently for DC Countdown to finish
  • waited patiently for pictures from the Dark Knight movie
  • go Globe (finally)
  • became very very honest
  • car.
  • palm.
  • park.
  • decided to surrender my love life to God.
  • there.
there's a whole lot more. gimme a minute to remember. i'll post some of the other things later.
twas a very very eventful november.
and twas fun.
bow.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

songs remind me of people

like.

  1. magic dance by david bowie
  2. bizarre love triange by frente

  1. the song that jane likes by the dave matthews band
  2. lover lay down by the dave matthews band

  1. nothing's gonna stop us now by starship
  2. little bitty pretty one by bobby darin

  1. secret heart by feist
  2. question by old 97's



  • a favor house atlantic by coheed and cambria
  • everyday by the dave matthews band
  • slide away by oasis
  • the dance by barbie's cradle
  • burn out by sugarfree
  • and a whole lot more that will take a week to place here

Monday, November 19, 2007

bahala Ka na lang.

i shall entrust my heart to the One who wrote the greatest and best love story ever.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

october the 23rd 2007

it has been six days since the start of sembreak.
feels like a month.

for all the sleepless nights, and all the money spent the past sem has caused, it taught me something.
mayaman ako sa kaibigan.

new friends.
old friends.
yeah.

thank you.
giant ant. thank you.
that trio that refuses to be named so that it retains its mysteriousness, thank you.

thank you for question, for what a difference a day makes.
thank you.
bow.




-------------
caleb's off to laguna today. be back on november the 4th.
i'll miss you all.
gah.
ahahaha.
sorry, never was to fond of going away.